Best of …

A not-too-comprehensive report answering many questions you probably never considered (or cared enough to ask) about Wisconsin's construction industry

Best reaction to a hammer on your thumb

The Hammer Dance

You can't print what happens when you slam a hammer on your thumb. Unless you write it like this: "@#?&*%!!"

Or if it's freezing outside, it reads like this: "@#?&*%-@#?&*%!!"

But once the swearing's done, the "hammer dance" has just begun.

There's the rapid "shake-out-the-pain" shimmy, usually accompanied by a one-foot hop. Or there's the "crumple-to-the-ground, fetal-rocking" foxtrot.

The best, however, is a slow dance. Simply grab the engorged digit with your other hand, tuck both hands between your knees and grit your teeth. Hold your breath and sway side to side.

That's what we call the "wait-it-out" waltz.

Best construction site smell

Perfume

In "Apocalypse Now," Lt. Col. Bill Kilgore swears a love for the smell of napalm in the morning.

Weird as that is, diesel or gasoline fumes can stir similar passions on construction sites. After all, the first revving of engines signals the start of the workday, and it's as good as coffee for some guys.

The earthiness of fresh-poured concrete, the caramelized smoke of a saw chewing up cedar … these scents are equally evocative.

But amid the smoke and friction (and, let's face it, body odor), Madison contractor Aaron Hempen said one smell trumps all.

"When you're at a site, and a Realtor or some lady comes in wearing perfume," he said, "that just blows you away."

Best construction site sound

Work

The rapid fire of nail guns.

The piercing whine of grinding metal.

The rhythmic beep of a gravel truck in reverse.

The Milwaukee Tools boom box tuned forever to classic rock.

Taken separately, it's a lot of noise. Put them together and something else happens.

Just ask Jim Schumacher, project manager for J.P. Cullen and Sons Inc., Janesville. After months of planning, Schumacher recently stood inside the soon-to-be-completed, 5,500-seat training auditorium his company's building for Epic Systems in Verona.

As some 500 workers toiled throughout the $150 million project, he had to yell to be heard. "We're going full steam now."

And that might be the sweetest sound of all.

Best construction company Web site

Eppstein Uhen Architects Inc.

When Milwaukee-based Eppstein Uhen Architects opened shop, a Web master was a spider with a flair for the dramatic.

The best Web sites were lurking in the dark corners of drafty basements, and www was a stutter, not the start of an address. Internet was just a careless way of saying where the fish was.

But that was 100 years ago, and the companies that started then and remain today all share an ability to change with the times.

Eppstein Uhen did just that with a Web site at www.eua.com that's rich in photos and comprehensive in the details of the firm's many projects. The clean, organized interface makes navigation a snap and succeeds well in conveying the firm's brand.

And when we say "brand," we're not talking about cow labels.

Best piece of clothing for a cold day

Helmet liners

There's no such thing as warmth for the Wisconsin construction worker toiling in the bitter, frozen clutches of a February dawn.

Your hands are cold, your feet are frozen, and you swear if you passed your hand through the puff of breath in front of you, it would shatter like a cloud of icicles. But there's still hope, if not heat.

It can't do the job on its own, but the helmet liner might be your best bet on a cold day. It works like a built-in stocking cap inside the helmet and flaps down over the ears when you need it to.

Since most of the body's heat is lost through the head, keeping it well covered, as your parents told you, is the best first line of defense against the shivers.

Best construction site cliché

It is what it is

The average construction site offers up more clichés than you could shake a stick at.

From "measure twice, cut once" to "on time, under budget," the clichés just come out of the woodwork.

But one phrase stands head and shoulders above the rest: "It is what is."

It's a more philosophical thought than your typical cliché. It covers a gamut of emotions, from resignation to acceptance, and it applies to everything from a bid opening to a ribbon cutting.

While this is the best of the bunch, it's still important to remember that when you start talking in clichés, you're on a slippery slope. So please, whenever possible, avoid them like the plague.

Best item to bring along for a tower crane shift

The bathroom bottle

Jeff Maples can climb to the cockpit of a 150-foot tower crane in about 10 minutes, which is pretty good.

But that doesn't mean he wants to do it twice in one day.

And the only thing that could force an early descent is the most basic of human functions. That, like it or not, is where the bathroom bottle enters the picture.

"I don't know how much your readers really want to hear about this, but that is the most important thing to bring with you," said Maples, a tower crane operator for Madison-based Reynolds Transfer & Storage.

Books, magazine and even crossword puzzles are nice to have, but even a tower crane operator must answer when nature calls.

Best piece of equipment for a tool belt

Hammer

A tool belt is a picture of priorities.

You've got your big pouch for random items like pencils, nails or screws. Some of your higher-end belts might even have a little pocket for a tape measure.

But every belt has a hammer loop. It's the only tool-belt feature that carries over into regular, everyday clothes; if you're wearing jeans, there's a 50-50 chance they have a hammer loop on them.

Why? Because a hammer deserves a place of honor as the most essential of all tools. It's the only tool on the belt that reminds you of its presence with a satisfying, "let's get to work" rapping on the side of your leg when you walk.

But the hammer is a fickle friend, and for those moments when it turns on you, please refer to the previously listed Hammer Dance.

Best month for outside work

September

February is the cruelest month for Wisconsin contractors.

In Green Bay, the average temperature in 2006 was 19 degrees with an average of 6 inches of snow on the ground, according to the National Weather Service.

In those conditions, eight months can seem like an eternity to wait for September, the best month to work outdoors. In 2006, Green Bay's average September temperatures stayed below 70 and above freezing.

The record snowfalls for the past 120 years are no more than trace amounts.

The sun was out on all but five days, and while it did rain 10 days in September 2006, it never lasted long.

With those outdoor conditions, September is enough to make the office staff jealous … until February rolls around again.

Best academic skill to bring to the construction industry

Math

High school students who think algebra is as useful as a lecture on Latin won't grow up to wear a hard hat to work.

There are plenty of jobs out there for people who don't care about calculating thousandths or multiplying Pi by r² - Latin instructor, for example. But they all need buildings to work in, and buildings can't be built without people who know their math.

If no one cared about math, highway projects would run out of cement mid-pour because the crew didn't know how much to order. Engineers would confuse sine and cosine when designing trusses, and roofs would collapse all over town.

A world without math might sound nice in high school, but, then again, in a world without math there wouldn't be a high school.

Best way to start the bleeding

Adjustable wrench

Here's what's going to happen.

You're going to have a nut sitting loosely on the end of a screw in a hard-to-reach spot. You're going to grab your adjustable wrench without once considering that there's a really good reason why they call it the knuckle-buster.

You're going to set that wrench on the nut, and your first turn is going to work fine. The wrench now has you right where it wants you - confident and unguarded.

Then you're going to forget to readjust the wrench before the second turn.

The wrench will slip off the nut, and the force you put into the turn will propel the top of your hand into the nearest solid object. It's going to hurt, and it's going to be one of those knuckle cuts that just won't stop bleeding.

You will curse loudly at the wrench, throw it in the toolbox and then repeat the entire process in about two weeks.

Best job trailer etiquette

Don't write on the blueprints

Is a little common courtesy really so much to ask for?

You wouldn't want your co-worker walking into your house and writing all over your stuff, so what makes you think you can just walk into the job trailer, pull out your pen and write a bunch of notes all over his blueprints? They're not your blueprints, are they? What do you have to say for yourself?

And what happens when some guy decides to use some other guy's blueprints as his own personal notebook?

"You yell at them," said Greg Seitz, superintendent for Riley Construction Co. Inc., Kenosha. "If it's their blueprint, they can do whatever they want with it. But most of the time, it's mine."